Dunkin’ Donuts Pumpkin Macchiato: A Review

October 12, 2015

So, I give Dunkin’ Donuts about $20 of my hard-earned money every week. I shouldn’t, but I do; I have what some might call a coffee addiction. Now, I know this is odd to think about, given that the title of my blog is Drinking Cafe Latte at 1pm, but I have yet to write anything about coffee in the ten years or so that I’ve had this blog (with just over one of those years existing here on WordPress).

But that’s about to change!

This morning I went to get my coffee, Monday Edition, when I saw that Everything Pumpkin is back on the menu. Now, I’ve been getting my pumpkin coffees religiously for the last few weeks (I usually get caramel coffees the rest of the year), but today I was stunned to see that DD (cool speak for Dunkin’ Donuts) has introduced a new brand of coffee, the Pumpkin Macchiato. When I stood in line this morning, its picture in the marquee spoke its thousand or so words at me, and all of them said, “Buy me!” My thought: “Yes, please!”

The picture showed a coffee with three layers of coloring: a milky layer on the bottom, a regular brown layer in the middle (the estuary layer?), and a dark layer on top for the espresso.

Ah, yes, there’s espresso in this bad boy. Two shots if I’m not mistaken. Pumpkin + espresso = coffee dream.

Now, I think the drink comes in one of two ways. Apparently, if you don’t specify how you want it, it comes to you iced, which is fitting because iced coffee is generally more expensive than hot coffee, since, you know, ice is costly. If you get the drink by itself, it comes with a cup holder (like a warmer for cold coffee). I got mine with three other coffees, so I just carried everything in a crate.

(Just to clarify, the four coffees weren’t all for me. Just one of them.)

The Review:

So, you’re probably wondering what I thought. Okay, here’s the breakdown.

Well, it was made of pumpkin, so right off the bat it was awesome. As a rule, if it has pumpkin in it, it’s awesome. Case in point: 1. Pumpkin pie = awesome. 2. Pumpkin cheesecake = super awesome. 3. Pumpkin coffee = awesome. 4. Pumpkin sneakers = weird but awesome. See my point? It’s hard to say anything bad about pumpkin anything. Unless, of course, you hate pumpkin. If that’s the case, then how dare you!

The coffee power is marginally high. Normally, coffee is a quick stimulant, fast to get me going, but just as fast to tire me out. It’s one of the reasons I can drink coffee at night. It does little to keep me awake. In fact, I think it’s more psychological than anything. For me, coffee is more of a stimulant for my brain. If I have a cup of coffee beside me, my IQ goes up about 10 points.

Obviously, the amount of sleep I get the night before is a factor in coffee’s general success. I tend to buy coffee anyway (or make it at home if I have the time), whether I need it or not, but on mornings when I get my average sleep, which is to say hardly any, then I definitely need it. This morning was exceptionally difficult to keep awake, so the need for coffee was higher than average.

Fortunately, the double-shot espresso makes waking up so much easier. The downside: the crash is so much harder.

Normally I get sleepy around lunch time. That’s just how my body works. By 1pm (hence the blog title), I’m dragging my feet. On a regular cup of coffee, I’m groggy but coherent. On the pumpkin macchiato (and its two shots of espresso), I am passing out and speaking nonsense. Because I read papers and tutor college students for a living, this sometimes makes giving good advice challenging. Part of the challenge is reminding myself that the dream I’d just had while struggling through a student’s second-to-last paragraph has nothing to do with what he or she has written in his paper, and I should probably give advice that’s relevant only to his paper. The pumpkin macchiato, while brilliant in the morning, was a complete letdown in the afternoon. I’m sure I nodded off in the middle of the conversation at least a couple of times.

Lastly, the pumpkin taste is sweet, maybe even too sweet when you consider the cream, the syrup, and the sugar (sugar being the one thing I never put in my coffee anymore), but the espresso is sufficiently bitter. If you’re going to order a cup, be sure you carry some Altoids with you. You’re gonna need them if you want to talk to anyone later.

Final verdict: Worth buying, unless you feel that spending three dollars on a cup of coffee is outrageous.

If you would like me to review anything else, let me know.